Fw: TRUE MEANING OF ACADEMIC HELL

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Original Text
From: "Earl Babbie" <babbie@chapman.edu>, on 3/29/99 2:24 PM:

[I don't think I've ever seen this before, so others may have missed it
as well.  I got it from an uncle in Vermont who got it from a professor
at Mary Baldwin, who. . .
--Earl]

 One day while walking downtown, a well known sociologist was hit by a
Bus and was tragically killed.  Her soul arrived up in heaven where she
was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter [a social construction]
himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter.  "Before you get settled in though,
it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once
had a sociologist make it this far and we're not really sure what to do
with you."

"No problem, just let me in" said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is
let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose
where you want to spend eternity" the Saint replied.

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind.....I prefer to stay in
Heaven",  even though Hell should be more exciting for research.

"Sorry, we have rules....."  And with that St. Peter put the scholar in
an  elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell.  The doors opened and
the  sociologist found herself stepping out into a beautiful seminar
room. Down  the hall was a lavishly appointed lounge, complete with a
small but useful  reference library.  Standing in front of her were all
her former  colleagues, a veritable Who's Who of the sociological world,
all cheering  for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and
they talked about  old functionalist times. They had an exciting
theoretical discussions  trashing post-modernism and anthropology, and
then retired to the faculty  club for an excellent steak and lobster
dinner.  She met the Devil, who  was actually a really nice guy,
resembling Max Weber. And although he was  a political economist, he
showed a real interest in her work.

They talked and joked into the wee hours of the morning. The
sociologist  was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was
time to leave.    Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got
on the elevator.    The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the
Pearly Gates where  St. Peter was waiting for her.

 "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven" he said. So the sociologist
spent  the next 24 hours lounging around on the clouds and playing the
harp and  singing. She had a great time and before she knew it, her 24
hours were up  and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day
in Hell and you've  spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your
eternity" he said.  The  sociologist paused for a second and then
replied, "well, I never thought  I'd say this.  I mean, Heaven has been
really great and all, but I think  professionally I had a better time in
Hell."

So, St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the scholar went
down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she
found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and
filth. She saw that her colleagues were dressed in rags and were
picking  up garbage and putting it in sacks for the evening meal. They
barely  paused in their work long enough to grumble and tell her that
they thought  her research was second rate.

Max himself came up to her and put his arm around her and laughed at
her.  "I don't understand," stammered the great sociologist, "yesterday
I was  here and there was a library and a faculty club and we ate
lobster and we  talked about my research and had a great time.  Now all
there is a  wasteland of garbage and all my colleagues look miserable on
me. Max  looked at her and grinned, "that's because yesterday we were
interviewing  you, but today you're faculty."







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 kth Law of CyberSpace: We are all, as individuals,  in over our heads.
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 Earl Babbie                                          Tel: 714-997-6565
 babbie@chapman.edu                                   Fax: 714-281-6213
    http://www.chapman.edu/wilkinson/socsci/sociology/Faculty/Babbie/