Q. How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Four hundred and sixty-two:
Twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb,
Twenty-three to deregulate the light bulb industry,
Sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D,
Thirty-four to cut the tax rate on light bulbs,
Fifty-three to design a blockgrant so the states can change the bulb,
Forty-one to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead,
and two hundred and eighty-three to pass a law making it illegal to discuss
naked bulbs (or screwing anything) on the Internet.