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two cows
by C. Bandhauer
18 February 2002 05:51 UTC
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I'm not sure of the origins of this, but thought some might enjoy it...
Carina

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Two Cows
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Feudalism
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them
and sells you the milk.

Communism
You have two cows.
You must take care of them, but the government takes all the
milk.

Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron
You have two cows.
You borrow 80% of the forward value of the two cows from your bank then buy
another cow with 5% down and the rest financed by the seller on a note
callable if your market cap goes below $20B at a rate 2 times prime. You
now sell three 
cows to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at a 2nd bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get four cows back, with a tax
exemption for 
five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via an intermediary
to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more and this transaction process is upheld by your
independent auditor and no Balance Sheet provided with the press release
that announces that Enron as a major owner of cows will begin trading cows
via the internet site COW (cows on web).   I am sure you now fully
understand what happened.


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